I sit here, silently, presented to everyone as if I am "okay" but inside the terror rips my soul to shreds and I am losing hope in my existence. I am loosing the battle in which I must fight until my time is done. I'm scared to give into the beast, but the war is becoming more than my mind and physical body is capable of handling. What is it that I do now? Where do I go when home is the where the beast loves to feed, it has an advantage there. Home is where I die slowly.
I remember a time where things were beautiful even living side by side with my gift of terror. How did things get here? How do I escape? Hope? I don't really know how to feel a glimmer of hope anymore. Because it was at my own hands that I ripped the lives out of those closest to me, and I am deeply sorry for I never meant to. I promise I love you, I promise that I care!!! I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to let you down. I was lucky enough to have had you for as long as I have....did.
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