In the beginning there was once a precious life....

.....Out of know where, that precious life that was that of a little 7 year old girl, who had so much to live for, was given a gift. The gift was that of terror and torment. In the years to come she would quickly realize that this gift was actually a horrible curse that she would never be able to escape.

That day was unlike the others, so fragile and innocent in her beloved hometown church's chapel, alone, she stood looking at the cross in awe and beauty. A mind so pure was changed into something terrifying and she couldn't make it stop.

She was scared and didn't know or understand why, suddenly, she was hearing 'thoughts' inside of her head that wasn't her own and ones she couldn't make stop. It was the voice of an older middle aged man, a voice that no matter how much she wanted to forget how it sounded, as she grew older it would taunt her into a spiral of guilt, shame, fear and hate.

She stood there hoping it would stop, that he would just go away! He was saying things so terrible, things that no precious child should ever be subjected to hearing.

"God isn't real! Go kill people!" he screamed inside of her head.

"Why am I thinking these things? I don't think that! I love God!" she cried inside of her head back to the man. 

She was a very religious girl, she loved God and loved all those that God created. She never questioned God's existence or even fathomed the thought of hurting someone, let alone killing someone. Fear came over her and she didn't know what else to do, so she told the Pastor of the church what she was hearing and asked for help.

"Block them out and ignore them, it'll be ok!" The pastor told the frightened little girl.

She would take this advice, but as her brain grew, one day the advice given to her only a mere 3 years prior would stop working and this gift of terror would turn into the worst curse she could ever imagine. 

That little girl, just only 7 years old, had no idea what the future had in store for her or what she would do in her life and she will always remember that day it all started, in that church. That was the day that was to paint the picture of her life.  

It wasn't too long before she realized she was going to have to battle this demon for the rest of her life and have a living hell inside of her head. That little girl would come to discover, after some time, that this gift of terror had a name and it was called Paranoid Schizophrenia.

That little girl was me and this is my story thus far........